Monday, February 10, 2014
second time around
Oh, uh, p.s., we're expecting?
That's kind of how announcing our second child has been approached. We're excited, but also a little nervous. Our children will be 20 months apart, which is more than many sibling spacings, but at the same time I feel a little crazy. Here I am, excited that my daughter is walking and learning to talk, and I'm what?! Going to have *another* baby? I fear the incredulous look in their eyes when they hear the news. "They" could be just about anybody, but fortunately, it has been only a few. In reality, people are excited for us. While they do say, "You're going to be busy!," they're supportive.
Things that are different the second time around:
- The first trimester was harder. Being tired and feeling a little icky at a desk job? Just another day in the office. Being tired and feeling icky while your toddler is crying because she wants you to play and be fun but you feel like you have nothing to give? Now that's exhausting.
- You *do* feel the movement earlier, because you understand the difference between baby and gas. [tmi?]
- Gender is seen less as "how will it be to raise a boy vs. a girl?" and more "what will C's life be like if we have a boy vs. a girl?"
Things that might be different the second time around:
- I'm more confident about delivery. Been there, done that. Obviously, each time is different, but at least I understand pushing now.
- When the midwife hands me our baby, I won't be surprised. Somehow throughout the whole labor and delivery my brain was so concentrated on relaxing through the contractions and obeying my Bradley instructor that I didn't really grasp the end result would be a newborn in my arms. Strange what the mind can do.
- In the same vein, with C I was caught up in "acing" the whole process. I wanted the perfect labor, delivery, baby, breastfeeding, you name it, I was going to go by the book. As you probably know, life doesn't go by the book. This time, I'm going to relax and not worry if I'm not doing everything "right." And if things don't go as expected, I'm not going to be ashamed that I did something wrong. You can't control everything. [repeat]
- This baby is probably going to get snuggled more. With C, I was tired, sore, overwhelmed, maybe confused, mostly overwhelmed, and I didn't cherish those newborn snuggles. I didn't know what to do with a newborn besides feed her, change her, and desperately try to get her to sleep. Here's hoping for a sunnier experience the second time around.
Anyone else have similar first-time experiences? You with multiple children, what differences do you remember?